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Vesper
Nov 10, 2016 22:22:47 GMT -8
Post by Lonker on Nov 10, 2016 22:22:47 GMT -8
Real Name: Vesper Xylander Gender: Female Age: 17 Occupation: Coffee Shop Brewer Appearance: Dark hair, long, pretty face Real Personality: Extremely shy around those she doesn't know but an open book once you get to be her friend. She doesn't like seeing others hurt emotionally or physically. She's constantly afraid someone will find out her secret
Super-Name: N/A (She has yet to be named, as she has not quite discovered her powers and accepted herself for what she is. She's still learning what she's capable of) Powers/Skills: Flight(Undiscovered), Healing(Discovered, both rapid regeneration and healing others), Super Strength(Undiscovered), Omni-linguism(Unaware. Passive), Empathy(Unaware. passive), Force Field Generation(Undiscovered), Water and Cold manipulation(Undiscovered) Alignment: (G/N/E; C/N/L) True Nuetral. Her empathy can heavily influence her in either direction, all depending on who she's around. Will shift as she discovers her powers. Fighting Style: Hand to hand/Melee weapon Super Personality: She is very reserved about her powers at the moment, and only uses them in secret, if she absolutely needs to. Costume: None yet. She has not accepted herself so she has not made a costume. Identity: Secret Backstory: Vesper is a young girl, just out of high school, trying to find her place in the world. Recently she discovered she has an ability to heal people, something she has been trying to keep to herself as she is afraid of her own power. She feels like she is a freak and should not exist, but is growing to accept what she is. Though healing is just the beginning of what she can do, and as she grows to accept herself she'll unlock more power. Where her abilities come from has yet to be discovered. Motivation: At the moment, she has no motivation to be a hero. She doesn't want her powers but understands the good or evil they can do.
PERSONAL AFFILIATIONS Place of Origin: Avalon Falls
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Vesper
Nov 10, 2016 23:59:24 GMT -8
Post by Lupus on Nov 10, 2016 23:59:24 GMT -8
well first off, this is a great First Application. I like it quite a lot. but I do have a little bit of nitpicking I have to do 1)The backstory is lacking in anything story. how did these powers happen? did the Zipper of Time give her these Powers? are they inherent of some other schmuck that happens to be her father?
2)Is Empathy a power? if it helps, I don't think Flight is needed actually, because super strength usually comes with some form of super speed, not like The Flash, but like Mr Incredible. car speed. plus if she really wants to levitate, water manipulation can lift her like a hose. some contradicting powers
3) and oh yes, NPC's will call you the most random things if you don't have a name, and we have the most degrading names in line ( at least I do)
4) typical teen, no Motivation to go out there and excel
Don't edit the OP, post your edits below. I hate when people just edit, then I have to guess if you edited
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Vesper
Nov 11, 2016 0:04:00 GMT -8
Post by DekuNut on Nov 11, 2016 0:04:00 GMT -8
I agree with most of what Storm said (we discussed this prior to posting). Really we just feel like she has too many powers. I get where you're going with this - it's a coming of age story, an allegory for learning about yourself and what you can do. If this were a novel about her, that'd be gold right there. But she's also in a world where she has to work with and be the equal of many other characters. So maybe find ways to combine and/or limit the number of powers she has. And also, this is being very nitpicky, how exactly would empathy affect her alignment? It's asking not necessarily how she usually acts, but how at her core she's aligned. She's still her own person, even if she's very much affected by the feelings of others. One can't simply be turned evil for five minutes because they're surrounded by an angry mob. Or do you disagree? This one is more of a discussion topic than a "plz change" thing.
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Vesper
Nov 11, 2016 1:14:39 GMT -8
Post by Lonker on Nov 11, 2016 1:14:39 GMT -8
1.) Honestly I haven't figured it out yet. I'm deciding if maybe some god gave her her powers or inherited by parents still. I'll get back to you on that. 2.) Flight might not be necessary. I didn't quite think of using water for that purpose, nor the strength. Super strength was just going be that. Strong punches. Think Luke cage. At least in the TV adaptation, he doesn't have better speed because of his strength. Also, empathy is a power, as eventually it could lead to controlling the emotions of others. The fact that she isn't aware of her empathy is what can be alignment adjusting about it. It's not that she's evil for 5 minutes, but that her being around those who are evil can effect her. Feeling their emotions when killing or destroying things, etc. And being an empath but not knowing it is tough because negative emotions around her could cause her to lash out, she may not be evil from negative emotions alone, but empathy can push her towards that path. Similarly, hanging around those doing good and positive emotions can influence her towards good. She is truly neutral right now. I want her to develop as either a villain or a hero. 3.) Honestly, working on it. But she's not going to name herself unless she accepts herself. Perhaps we'll name her, Mercy. 4.) Sadly that's it really. Perhaps for more background stuff, she was ready to go to college or something but her powers scared her away from furthering herself. Again I want her to find her place in the world and right now she's a scared teen who's body is changing more than it's supposed to. 5.) And this one is addressed to Deku's first point with the powers. Thinking things over, it seems a bit powerful to have both super strength and an elemental manipulation power. Allows her to do a lot. I'm thinking of removing the strength power and just having the element along with flight. As for the other powers, they are more passive abilities than anything else, at least until she learns about and can control the empathy, which can be used to inspire allies or discourage enemies later. And come on. I'm looking through other apps and some have way more than her \ I want to clarify something. I'm not going to have her away from the action. I'm going to be bringing her around it, learning who other characters are, how they fit in the world, have the villain influences and the hero influences on her, etc. She's not just going to go to work all day and try to forget about her powers. She does feel a need to help others. If that means help the villains, sure. Help the heroes, sure.
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Vesper
Nov 11, 2016 1:21:27 GMT -8
Post by Lonker on Nov 11, 2016 1:21:27 GMT -8
I also want to point out that I don't think Water manipulation contradicts flight. But I guess if needed, she can do without the flight. She'll just need a large amount of water for any height advantage. I guess I could treat her similarly to a water bender from Avatar
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Vesper
Nov 11, 2016 1:22:58 GMT -8
Post by Lupus on Nov 11, 2016 1:22:58 GMT -8
I'm looking through other apps and some have way more than her who did you look at in particular? I don't think anyone really has more
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Vesper
Nov 11, 2016 1:30:37 GMT -8
Post by Lonker on Nov 11, 2016 1:30:37 GMT -8
Green Garnet, and Mordred technically could. Some does not mean a lot. Especially if I cut the strength out though.
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Vesper
Nov 11, 2016 2:40:33 GMT -8
Post by Lonker on Nov 11, 2016 2:40:33 GMT -8
Real Name: Vesper Xylander Gender: Female Age: 17 Occupation: Barista Appearance: Dark long hair, she a good looking girl. Real Personality: Extremely shy around those she doesn't know but an open book once you get to be her friend. She doesn't like seeing others hurt emotionally or physically. She's constantly afraid someone will find out her secret
Eventual Super-Name: Aqua Pheonix or The Broken Siren Powers/Skills: Healing(Self regeneration and Healing others. Discovered), Water and Ice manipulation(Think Water Bender from Avatar. Undiscovered), Empathy(early on, no control over who's emotions she's feeling, know knowledge she's feeling them from other people. Eventually she'll grow to be able to manipulate the emotions of others and feel people she chooses instead of everyone around her. Unaware. Passive), Omni-linguism(Unaware. Understands and can speak all languages. Doesn't know when she is speaking in another language or hearing another language.) Alignment: (G/N/E; C/N/L)Neutral Fighting Style: Ranged style, using water and ice to fight and create walls, etc. Super Personality: N/A She is learning her place in a super hero world with her new powers. Mostly reserved about using her powers to start off though. If she has to heal someone, she does so in secret. Costume: N/A Identity: Secret Backstory: Vesper was unsure of where she got her ability to heal others. As far as she knew, no one else in her family was able to heal in the way she could. Though her parent were both able to manipulate different elements. Her mother could manipulate fire, her father could manipulate plants. She went through most of her life happy that she wasn't powered like they were, that is until one day she healed a friend of hers who had broken a bone. She kept her new found powers a secret from her parents, and scared they would find out, she ran away to Avalon Falls, stopping her plans for a college education and becoming a barista where she struggles to accept she is one with powers as well. Motivation: She just wants to keep her secret. No one can find out
PERSONAL AFFILIATIONS Place of Origin:Avalon Falls
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Vesper
Nov 11, 2016 2:42:23 GMT -8
Post by Lupus on Nov 11, 2016 2:42:23 GMT -8
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Vesper
Nov 11, 2016 2:42:43 GMT -8
Post by DekuNut on Nov 11, 2016 2:42:43 GMT -8
I'm good with it
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